兒童英語(yǔ)笑話二

Like father, like son 有其父必有其子

Son: Papa, what's the meaning of " Like father, like son"?

Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?

兒子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀？

父親：狗崽子，你在學(xué)校又干什么見不得人的事啦？

They're Busy 他們很忙

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.

"May I speak to your parents? "

"They're busy. "

"Oh. Is anybody else there? "

"The police. "

"Can I speak to them?"

"They're busy. "

"Oh. Is anybody else there? "

"The firemen. "

"Can I speak to them? "

"They're busy. "

"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing?"

"Looking for me. "

 電話鈴響了，小男孩接了電話。

“請(qǐng)你父母聽電話好嗎？”

“他們很忙。”

“噢，那家里還有其他人嗎？”

“還有警察。”

“我可以和他們說(shuō)話嗎？”

“他們很忙。”

“那還有其他人嗎？”

“還有消防員。”

“我可以和他們說(shuō)話嗎？”

“他們也很忙。”

“請(qǐng)直接告訴我——你的父母、警察和消防員都在你家，但他們都很忙，他們到底在干什么？”

“在找我。”

Tom's excuse 湯姆的借口

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slow.

老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到？

湯姆：我每次路過(guò)拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫著：學(xué)校----慢行。

I can not see it at all 我根本就看不見

After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."

晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來(lái)，便對(duì)正在看電視的兒子說(shuō)道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開著呢？” 過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來(lái)說(shuō)：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見。”

The New Teacher 新老師

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。

“喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎？” 媽媽問(wèn)。

“媽媽，我不喜歡，因?yàn)樗f(shuō)3加3得6, 可后來(lái)又說(shuō)2加4也得6。”

If I am a Manager 如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理

One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager.

All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

I am waiting for my secretary, was the boy’s answer.